Distressing thoughts

The inner critic

Do you feel like you have a voice in your head always telling you that you’re not good enough? Some people call this voice “the inner critic.” It might sound like your voice, or it might sound like the voice of someone close to you—a parent, a sibling, a partner, or an ex-partner, for example.

Sometimes you might be trying to focus on a task and your inner critic is disrupting you, telling you that you’re going to fail or that you’re “stupid.” Or sometimes you might be having a nice moment with a loved one, only for that voice to creep in and tell you that you’re not deserving of love. When you hear that voice, it can be hard to just “tune it out.” Even if you know that what it says isn’t true, it can still interrupt what you’re doing and send you spiraling down into self-hatred.

It takes time and effort to fight back against this inner critic. The inner critic often spends years building a home in your thoughts, uninvited, and learns over time how to provoke a strong and instantaneous response from you. But counselling can give you the tools to fight back against your inner critic and the space to practice calling it out.

Intrusive thoughts

Have you ever had a thought that frightened or alarmed you? Maybe you’ve had a thought that felt completely out of character for you, or even immoral.

Out of character thoughts that disturb, frighten, or disgust you are known as intrusive thoughts. Some people experience intrusive thoughts that are violent, sexual, or go against their religion. Many people experience intrusive thoughts, but it can be hard to talk about them. You may be afraid that people will misunderstand or judge you.

These thoughts can feel disturbing and may make you question yourself, but here’s a secret: what matters isn’t what you thought—it’s your reaction to the thought. If you feel distressed or horrified by what you thought, that’s likely an indicator that you don’t actually want to act on it.

Intrusive thoughts often hold a lot of power because of how emotionally-charged they are. It may feel like your brain is deliberately